Hello, people

'Sup nerds, how's it hangin'?  (So, so cringe,how old are you, thirty seven and down with the kids??)

Good afternoon, nerds   (Jeez, just walk off a cliff now mate, and do everyone a favour)

Hello, minions of  (NO NO NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!)

Okay, let's just dive into this before I embarrass myself and give myself a lethal case of cringes.

Hello. I am a person of the female persuasion (who would not like to name herself or give her age just 'cos she's awkward like that) and I am doing this blog through no will of my own.

Seriously, I have no desire to be doing this. Not at all. Nada. I have something akin to a life. Fair enough, it mostly involves me being anti-social in my room, watching TV shows in crap quality on my phone, reading some book I don't really like but I'm just reading for the sake of it, or twiddling my thumbs.

On a side note, I once read in this book that I got when I was like, seven, that the least used part of the human body is actually the thumbs. HOWEVER, that was a considerable time ago, and due to the advent of texting, that seems to be no longer the case.

I'm not entirely sure why I told you that...

Anyway, I have no burgeoning desire to write a blog but you, my one- man- viewership, will have to put up with me for the next three months. And you know why? Two letters and a word.

D. Of. E.

Yes, this is for my Skills section for the accursed thing. Much more hassle than it's worth, if I'm honest. I mean, you don't even get UCAS points for it. And I've been procrastinating for AGES (cos that's the kind of person I am) and now that it's the summer holidays, I've decided to sit down, pull my socks up, buckle up and get the damn thing done.

Most of the delay was primarily due to the fact that I had not a clue what I would do for my skill. Not to say that I'm not skilled of course.

So in the end, I thought, Well mate, you're a bit of a useless lump (as my parents periodically tell me) and there ain't no fool out there in the world who is willing to be your assessor for sleeping, but you read and watch stuff and generally piss around, and you get fabulous grades at school in English, so write a blog, you clever fella!

So I am.

Have fun reading it guys. It's probably gonna be quite rubbish, to be fair. Stuff that I will look back at and cringe and wince at. But please click on it. You don't even have to read it. I'll just get a sense of accomplishment when I look at the number of page views, which will still be depressingly puny and low, I'm sure.

Bye guys. Until next time.