*** QUICK THING I MUST MENTION: Due to technical problems, I was unable to upload this last week, because my laptop is ANCIENT and was not in a good mood. I did write this all last week though, but today is just the first time I was able to upload***
Week 3 of 13
As, I have no doubt, the entire world, whether they are a hard-core Potterhead or not, knows, J.K. Rowling, with the rest of the world waiting with bated breath, released the script for Harry Potter and the Cursed Child on Sunday 31st July (also Rowling and Harry Potter's birthday).
The book, for the rare, ignorant few who have spent the past few months living an ascetic, hermit-like life as a Tibetan monk or something, is the script for the play that is running at the Palace Theatre in London, It is a SCRIPT, people, a SCRIPT. And I'll go later into my thoughts on the format, but honestly, there are people for who this was a surprise. I've seen so many people online saying "omg this is such a rip off fam! didnt know it wud b a book, fam! want my money back fam!"
To be clear! The SCRIPT of #CursedChild is being published.#NotANovel #NotAPrequel 
twitter.com/lady_crunk/sta…
twitter.com/lady_crunk/sta…
Are you serious? How on earth did this come as a surprise? I can easily admit that Cursed Child was not perfect, that there were a few things about it that I didn't like, and it's OK that there are people who didn't like it, whether it was at all, or a little bit. But the buffoons who are demanding their money back because they claimed that they weren't made aware of the fact that it was a script, need to go get an eye test, because the rest of the world knew that it wasn't going to be another novel. I read some article in The Independent or something where someone was quoted as saying something along the lines of "As soon as I realised it was in a script format, I literally could not read it. What a let down!" Mate, you have to have a better reason than that for not liking it. That argument has no credibility. It's completely OK to have issues with it, but they have to be founded.
So anyway, on to the main part of the review.
So anyway, on to the main part of the review.
Rating: 4. 18 stars out of 5
I honestly don't know what to think about Cursed Child, because despite the fairly high rating I've given it, I'm not sure whether it's entirely deserving, but then I wonder if I'm being too harsh and urgh, it's horrible, I'm to-and-fro-ing in my mind. A book has not fucked with my mind so much since Twilight. And not in the "This book is so ridiculously crap I literally, physically cannot comprehend why it has undeservedly amassed the following it has", more of a "I have never been more confused in my life whether or not I liked the book or not."
And the thing is, even if I was to write out a list of the things I liked and didn't like about it, and looked at it, it would be obvious that the list of things I didn't like was longer, and yet, I couldn't NOT like it if I tried... if that makes sense.
And the main reason I think, why I'm having so much trouble with this book, is that at the end of the day, it's a Harry Potter story.
And the main reason I think, why I'm having so much trouble with this book, is that at the end of the day, it's a Harry Potter story.
I am a Harry Potter fiend. I am obsessed, I am enamoured, I am consumed, I absolutely love these books. Seriously, I have to do a speaking exam for English when I go back to school, giving a speech on a topic I am passionate about, and mine is about why Harry Potter is one of the most amazing literary phenomenons the world will ever see, while other people are doing theirs about things like whitewashing and LGBT representation in the media. You know, important, sensible things. When I was in secondary school, I kid you not, most of my year and half of my teachers knew that I was the biggest Harry Potter fan in the year. If anyone had a question about Harry Potter, or a fact that needed corroboration, they would come to me. I have had MASSIVE debates with people on absurd topics like whether Voldemort was a virgin or not (I don't care what Cursed Child says, he was, and nothing anyone can say will change my mind). The Harry Potter Studio Tour in Leavesden has a record of someone spending 13 hours there- I'm being entirely serious when I say I could shatter that record. My family hate watching Harry Potter movies with me because I will not shut up during them, whether it's a random fact about why Dan's eyes aren't green, or to finish off or point out a favourite line, or to moan about a scene in the books that should have been in it, or to divulge some interesting trivia about the production or costume design or props or special effects. I may not have been in the Harry Potter generation and so can't recall a fond memory like being in Year 6 and seeing everyone with copies of Goblet of Fire tucked under their arm or something. I have no touching anecdote about why it's so personal to me. I love it. I just do.
And so there cannot be a shadow of doubt in your mind that I do not love Harry Potter, because I do. Unlike when someone asks me to pick a favourite film, there is absolutely no doubt nor deliberation in my mind when it comes to my favourite book. The Harry Potter books will be my favourite books until my dying day.
*bursts into tears*
And that's the biggest reason why I can't hate this book. I literally, physically am unable to. It's like lying to your grandma- you feel terrible about it as soon as you do it and are unable to go to sleep for weeks afterwards. Reading Cursed Child, seeing Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Malfoy, even McGonagall- it was like seeing old, really good friends again after a long time, and realising how incredibly much you missed them. Man, I've read countless books since finishing Deathly Hallows, many more than I will be able to recall- some amazing, some massive, pungent, steaming mountains of cow poo, but even the really amazing books I read, pale in comparison to Rowling's work. And again, I'll go into slight issues I had with that because it isn't even entirely Rowling's work, and it's nowhere near as good as the Harry Potter novels, but just the name Rowling fires you up and excites you and you think
And even if deep down you know it's not, your brain is still stubbornly trying to convince you that it is, because you almost feel disloyal.
OKAY, ENOUGH DITHERING AND DRIVEL, TIME FOR SOME ACTUAL REVIEWING
This book is not meant to be read as a novel. It's a script. It's supposed to be performed, you're meant to take it with you if you go to see the play so you can be excited and follow it along. And so in that sense, the book is a skeleton. It's the bare bones of the story, the experience; it doesn't read like an ordinary book because that's not what it is. As I was reading it, I wasn't feeling the Rowling magic, the way she vividly created the world in our minds through her words- I couldn't fully visualise the scenes she was portraying, because that experience will come through the stage. The flesh, clothes, personality, behaviour will be put onto the skeleton through the actors, the acting, the costumes, the set, the music, the special effects, the theatre atmosphere. And so it felt like it was missing a massive part, which it was, and even though I completely understood the reason behind it, it still was a little disappointing.
One thing I really had quite an issue with was the characterisation, and again, I can understand why some things were the way they were, but come on! You don't have to love Ron to appreciate what a fantastic, realistic, multi-layered character he is. The insecurity of being Harry Potter's best friend, never being the first to do anything because his brothers had done it all before, never really feeling he had anything to bring to the table, always feeling overshadowed... it's such a stark portrayal of the ugly side everyone has- the jealousies, the envy, the insecurity. So I had a MASSIVE problem with the way Ron is simply reduced to comic relief in the play. To be fair, he was pretty funny, but that was literally his entire role. Harry, Hermione, and Malfoy are running around, frantically trying to save their kids from themselves, and Ron occasionally wanders onto stage, delivers a humorous quip, and wanders off again, bumping into things on the way out. It kind of felt disrespectful to Ron's character, because he's so much more than that. He wasn't even particularly hilarious in the books- it's almost like he's trying to fill in Fred's spot in a way.
And also, the writers really set back feminism quite a bit at one point. Hermione Granger is, without a shadow of doubt, one of the strongest fictional heroines out there, an truly amazing role model for girls and women everywhere. I refuse to believe that she is so one-dimensional that if in the alternate reality presented to us, she didn't get the guy, she would become a bitter, rude, mardy-arse who would lash out at her students unnecesarily. No. Just no. You can't turn this:
into this:
Another quick thing: I would love to have seen the new characters like Delphi, Albus, Scorpius and Rose, be a bit more fleshed out, because I couldn't really empathise with them and fall in love the same way I could with their parents. And I know, I KNOW that achieving the same level of characterisation in a play and in a book is virtually impossible to achieve, but I couldn't help feeling slightly detached from them anyhow.
Now I'm going to sound like one of those idiots I was making fun of at the beginning, but eh, who cares.
Obviously, I knew from the beginning that it wasn't entirely written by Rowling- John Tiffany, and more importantly, Jack Thorne (the playwright) helped her massively. It could even be that the vast majority of the writing was done by Thorne, with Rowling offering guidance on the plot. And that's definitely a good thing, because everyone has different writing styles- small idiosyncrasies and mannerisms personal to them, and the exact same plot written by another person has the potential to add so much more to the story simply by the way they write. I could definitely tell where Thorne's influences where- there were parts, especially in the stage directions, that were more poetical, more whimsical and metaphorical than Rowling's more direct, frank, no-frills approach.
Person X would absolutely NOT have a child. I've probably given it away already, but whatever. They would NOT. That was one aspect which was really, really weak for me. They didn't even have the other characters discuss it afterwards in an attempt to justify it for us. I'm not going to present my argument for why said person would not have children, because I've already exceeded my one hour time allocation and this way, I could stretch it to ten hours, but I assure you, it is iron clad. PERSON X WAS A VIRGIN END OF THE BLOODY STORY.
Like I said, I have exceeded my time limit, otherwise there's so much more stuff I could talk about, but that's enough for this time. In conclusion, if you're expecting Cursed Child to be Harry Potter 8, and you think it's going to be like a novel, like what you're used to, you will be sorely disappointed. Don't go into it with that expectation. Look at it as an extension of the Harry Potter universe, and enjoy it for what it is. If you don't love it, that's completely fine. It's OK. You're not doing anything wrong.
What did you guys think of it? Please, please, someone comment, because the situation down there is getting dire. There are tumbleweeds there, for God's sake, and I need someone to talk to about this, because it's the holidays, none of my friends have read it yet, and those that have, I don't want to discuss it with them over Whatsapp, it requires us to be face to face. What did you think of the plot twist? Who was your new favourite character? Do you think it actually should have been written at all? Let me know... if you want. If you don't that's fine. I get it.
*bursts into tears*
And that's the biggest reason why I can't hate this book. I literally, physically am unable to. It's like lying to your grandma- you feel terrible about it as soon as you do it and are unable to go to sleep for weeks afterwards. Reading Cursed Child, seeing Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Malfoy, even McGonagall- it was like seeing old, really good friends again after a long time, and realising how incredibly much you missed them. Man, I've read countless books since finishing Deathly Hallows, many more than I will be able to recall- some amazing, some massive, pungent, steaming mountains of cow poo, but even the really amazing books I read, pale in comparison to Rowling's work. And again, I'll go into slight issues I had with that because it isn't even entirely Rowling's work, and it's nowhere near as good as the Harry Potter novels, but just the name Rowling fires you up and excites you and you think
And even if deep down you know it's not, your brain is still stubbornly trying to convince you that it is, because you almost feel disloyal.
OKAY, ENOUGH DITHERING AND DRIVEL, TIME FOR SOME ACTUAL REVIEWING
This book is not meant to be read as a novel. It's a script. It's supposed to be performed, you're meant to take it with you if you go to see the play so you can be excited and follow it along. And so in that sense, the book is a skeleton. It's the bare bones of the story, the experience; it doesn't read like an ordinary book because that's not what it is. As I was reading it, I wasn't feeling the Rowling magic, the way she vividly created the world in our minds through her words- I couldn't fully visualise the scenes she was portraying, because that experience will come through the stage. The flesh, clothes, personality, behaviour will be put onto the skeleton through the actors, the acting, the costumes, the set, the music, the special effects, the theatre atmosphere. And so it felt like it was missing a massive part, which it was, and even though I completely understood the reason behind it, it still was a little disappointing.
One thing I really had quite an issue with was the characterisation, and again, I can understand why some things were the way they were, but come on! You don't have to love Ron to appreciate what a fantastic, realistic, multi-layered character he is. The insecurity of being Harry Potter's best friend, never being the first to do anything because his brothers had done it all before, never really feeling he had anything to bring to the table, always feeling overshadowed... it's such a stark portrayal of the ugly side everyone has- the jealousies, the envy, the insecurity. So I had a MASSIVE problem with the way Ron is simply reduced to comic relief in the play. To be fair, he was pretty funny, but that was literally his entire role. Harry, Hermione, and Malfoy are running around, frantically trying to save their kids from themselves, and Ron occasionally wanders onto stage, delivers a humorous quip, and wanders off again, bumping into things on the way out. It kind of felt disrespectful to Ron's character, because he's so much more than that. He wasn't even particularly hilarious in the books- it's almost like he's trying to fill in Fred's spot in a way.
And also, the writers really set back feminism quite a bit at one point. Hermione Granger is, without a shadow of doubt, one of the strongest fictional heroines out there, an truly amazing role model for girls and women everywhere. I refuse to believe that she is so one-dimensional that if in the alternate reality presented to us, she didn't get the guy, she would become a bitter, rude, mardy-arse who would lash out at her students unnecesarily. No. Just no. You can't turn this:
into this:
Another quick thing: I would love to have seen the new characters like Delphi, Albus, Scorpius and Rose, be a bit more fleshed out, because I couldn't really empathise with them and fall in love the same way I could with their parents. And I know, I KNOW that achieving the same level of characterisation in a play and in a book is virtually impossible to achieve, but I couldn't help feeling slightly detached from them anyhow.
Now I'm going to sound like one of those idiots I was making fun of at the beginning, but eh, who cares.
Obviously, I knew from the beginning that it wasn't entirely written by Rowling- John Tiffany, and more importantly, Jack Thorne (the playwright) helped her massively. It could even be that the vast majority of the writing was done by Thorne, with Rowling offering guidance on the plot. And that's definitely a good thing, because everyone has different writing styles- small idiosyncrasies and mannerisms personal to them, and the exact same plot written by another person has the potential to add so much more to the story simply by the way they write. I could definitely tell where Thorne's influences where- there were parts, especially in the stage directions, that were more poetical, more whimsical and metaphorical than Rowling's more direct, frank, no-frills approach.
"And time stops. And then it turns over, thinks a bit, and begins spooling
backwards, slow at first..."
"There's silence.
A perfect, profound silence.
One that sits low, twists a bit, and had damage within it"
"This is chaos. This is magic. This is St Oswald's Home for Old Witches and Wizards,
and it's as wonderful as you might hope"
And this style of writing is most definitely not a bad thing, but I couldn't help but miss the Rowling-ness of Rowling's writing- the vibrant, vivid pictures she painted in our heads.
OK, OK, less of the moaning, I'll quickly mention the things I did enjoy, and there were a lot of things I did. Despite what I said about Ron and the slightly lacklustre character development, the play is fairly funny, and got quite a few chuckles out of me, but maybe just because it's the smart, slightly awkward, very English humour that I like. Scorpius in particular, is probably my favourite character, because of how different he is from his father at that age- he didn't get dealt the best hand in life, but instead of whining about it and messing up the game for everyone else, he put on a brave face, picked up the cards, and did the best he could. He is a genuinely friendly and kind character, and his poor, fumbling attempts at wooing Rose were some of the most enjoyable parts of the book. The Dramione ship has definitely reared its head in the next generation.
Albus was a bit more of a difficult person to like. He had a full plate of chips drenched in vinegar on his shoulder, and it was slightly frustrating how mean he was to poor Harry. Out of him and Scorpius, everyone who read the book can confidently say that he's much better off than Little Malfoy, and his whole self-pity act got really irritating really quickly. He realised that though, which redeemed him for me.
All the relationships in the story were a joy to witness. Albus and Scorpius, Scorpius and Draco, Albus and Harry, Albus-Scorpius-Rose, Albus-Scorpius-Delphi, Ron and Hermione, what little we saw of Harry and Ginny. It would have been nicer to see the how the couples from the Harry Potter books were doing, to have their relationships fleshed out, to show how they had changed, but again, I can appreciate the job they did in the time constraints they had. I was really disappointed not to see more of James, though! Simply from the epilogue of Deathly Hallows, I really liked him, and I wanted an appearance put in from Teddy, Victoire, Mr and Mrs Weasley (if they were still alive) the other Weasley brothers.
And that plot twist though.
It's hard to fully voice my feelings on this, because I don't want to spoil anything, which I probably will anyway, but I'll give it a go. That whole thing, with Person X being the parent of Person Y... NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO.
Person X would absolutely NOT have a child. I've probably given it away already, but whatever. They would NOT. That was one aspect which was really, really weak for me. They didn't even have the other characters discuss it afterwards in an attempt to justify it for us. I'm not going to present my argument for why said person would not have children, because I've already exceeded my one hour time allocation and this way, I could stretch it to ten hours, but I assure you, it is iron clad. PERSON X WAS A VIRGIN END OF THE BLOODY STORY.
Like I said, I have exceeded my time limit, otherwise there's so much more stuff I could talk about, but that's enough for this time. In conclusion, if you're expecting Cursed Child to be Harry Potter 8, and you think it's going to be like a novel, like what you're used to, you will be sorely disappointed. Don't go into it with that expectation. Look at it as an extension of the Harry Potter universe, and enjoy it for what it is. If you don't love it, that's completely fine. It's OK. You're not doing anything wrong.
What did you guys think of it? Please, please, someone comment, because the situation down there is getting dire. There are tumbleweeds there, for God's sake, and I need someone to talk to about this, because it's the holidays, none of my friends have read it yet, and those that have, I don't want to discuss it with them over Whatsapp, it requires us to be face to face. What did you think of the plot twist? Who was your new favourite character? Do you think it actually should have been written at all? Let me know... if you want. If you don't that's fine. I get it.
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