Week 8 of 13
Now, I don't want to brag, but I read a lot.
Like, a heck of a lot. And I read pretty fast as well (although, it seems, not fast enough to finish reading Empire of Storms, which this week's blog was meant to be about but don't worry (I'd be surprised if you were) I'll have it done for next week.) So I think it's fair to say that my opinion on any book is based on a pretty solid foundation of experience. But during my extensive reads of books spanning all genres of literature, I have discovered somethings. I've come across stuff which I love whenever it's featured in a book. And other stuff I detest. Now obviously, there are loads of the obvious things, like insta-love, poorly developed characters, and overuse of deus ex machina, which it goes without saying, any seasoned reader wouldn't be able to stand. But then I have little pet peeves, and I don't know, maybe it's stuff other people don't like as well, but it's stuff that genuinely pisses me off so much. And I accept that some of it may seem a bit irrational, but eh, who cares. I am generally quite an irrational person.
1) When a character isn't given enough of a physical description
I am quite a visual person, especially with things like colours. It's why I appreciate random things like beautifully decorated cupcakes, vividly hued flowers, and beautifully exquisite male specimens.
I didn't have a particular purpose for putting that gif there- Max Irons' beautiful face just makes me happy.
And so I like both reading and writing descriptions of things. I think at least in this regard I speak for quite a lot of people, in that we need to be able to visualise a character, because it kind of just helps us get into the story a bit more. There's obviously also the other end of the spectrum, where the author can't stop going on about a character's beautifully sculpted forearms, or the way the sun glints through a guy's perfectly rumpled, chestnut hair, picking out the gold highlights or whatever, (and I'm not so stupid that I don't realise that it happens - and why- mostly to male characters) and the book is so stuffed with similes and metaphors and synonyms for the word "gold" (looking at you, Cullen, you sparkling little shit) that you need to open a window because you're starting to suffocate from the repugnant stench of purple prose.
But when a character isn't given enough of a description, is almost as bad. Now bear in mind, I may not be able to give good enough examples, because all of these books I will have read some while ago, and I cannot be bothered at all to go trawling through Goodreads, or pulling out my copies of these books, to back up my pet peeves.
Take One Plus One, by Jojo Moyes. Anyone read it?- if not, you should, because it's a great book. It's the story of Jess, a harrowed, single mother who barely earns enough to scrape a living for herself and her two children- Nick, who's not actually her blood son, and Tanzie, an eight years old maths prodigy. When Tanzie is offered a once in a lifetime opportunity that Jess just cannot afford, an unexpected person comes swooping in to save the day- Ed, a tech entrepeneur embroiled in his own problems, and not entirely sure why he's decided to take on a whole new lot of them.
This book was amazing, it really was- it made me laugh out loud so much, all the relationships were portrayed so well and so realistically, and I loved all of the characters. But the one thing that kept bugging me, was the fact that neither Ed nor Jess were physically described. Perhaps random physical characteristics were thrown out her and there, and we know from Jess' chapters and Ed's chapters, that the other is quite attractive, but what really irked me was the fact that most of the other characters- Nick, Tanzie, Jess' ex (can't remember his name), the ex's new girlfriend (can't remember hers either) are all described, but why on earth aren't Jess and Ed, two of the main characters?!
And another one, and this one really stands out because I read this book so long ago, I think I was in Year 7, and I can't remember many details at all about it except for this one. I read a book called Butterfly Summer, by Anne-Marie Conway, and it was good book (it may not have been actually, but my twelve year old self enjoyed it, that I remember). The main character, Becky, moves town and makes a friend, a guy called Max or something like that, and the one thing that I remember, to this day, is the fact that Max was not described. It said quite a few times that he was attractive, but I actually remember trawling through it, desperately looking for tidbits to help me put together a mental image of him. All I pieced together was that his eyes and hair were brown, and nothing else. It's actually a sign of how much it annoyed me, because I read it so long ago, and I have a notoriously short memory, but this thing really stuck out for me.
I didn't have a particular purpose for putting that gif there- Max Irons' beautiful face just makes me happy.
And so I like both reading and writing descriptions of things. I think at least in this regard I speak for quite a lot of people, in that we need to be able to visualise a character, because it kind of just helps us get into the story a bit more. There's obviously also the other end of the spectrum, where the author can't stop going on about a character's beautifully sculpted forearms, or the way the sun glints through a guy's perfectly rumpled, chestnut hair, picking out the gold highlights or whatever, (and I'm not so stupid that I don't realise that it happens - and why- mostly to male characters) and the book is so stuffed with similes and metaphors and synonyms for the word "gold" (looking at you, Cullen, you sparkling little shit) that you need to open a window because you're starting to suffocate from the repugnant stench of purple prose.
But when a character isn't given enough of a description, is almost as bad. Now bear in mind, I may not be able to give good enough examples, because all of these books I will have read some while ago, and I cannot be bothered at all to go trawling through Goodreads, or pulling out my copies of these books, to back up my pet peeves.
Take One Plus One, by Jojo Moyes. Anyone read it?- if not, you should, because it's a great book. It's the story of Jess, a harrowed, single mother who barely earns enough to scrape a living for herself and her two children- Nick, who's not actually her blood son, and Tanzie, an eight years old maths prodigy. When Tanzie is offered a once in a lifetime opportunity that Jess just cannot afford, an unexpected person comes swooping in to save the day- Ed, a tech entrepeneur embroiled in his own problems, and not entirely sure why he's decided to take on a whole new lot of them.
This book was amazing, it really was- it made me laugh out loud so much, all the relationships were portrayed so well and so realistically, and I loved all of the characters. But the one thing that kept bugging me, was the fact that neither Ed nor Jess were physically described. Perhaps random physical characteristics were thrown out her and there, and we know from Jess' chapters and Ed's chapters, that the other is quite attractive, but what really irked me was the fact that most of the other characters- Nick, Tanzie, Jess' ex (can't remember his name), the ex's new girlfriend (can't remember hers either) are all described, but why on earth aren't Jess and Ed, two of the main characters?!
And another one, and this one really stands out because I read this book so long ago, I think I was in Year 7, and I can't remember many details at all about it except for this one. I read a book called Butterfly Summer, by Anne-Marie Conway, and it was good book (it may not have been actually, but my twelve year old self enjoyed it, that I remember). The main character, Becky, moves town and makes a friend, a guy called Max or something like that, and the one thing that I remember, to this day, is the fact that Max was not described. It said quite a few times that he was attractive, but I actually remember trawling through it, desperately looking for tidbits to help me put together a mental image of him. All I pieced together was that his eyes and hair were brown, and nothing else. It's actually a sign of how much it annoyed me, because I read it so long ago, and I have a notoriously short memory, but this thing really stuck out for me.
2) Forced banter
Sorry... I'll stop now...
Now, I am a great lover of banter. Nothing can ever be too banterous for me- my friends and I happily traverse our lives on the banterwagon, hanging out with Bant and Dec, meeting up with Barack Obanter, squeezing as many banter puns into our sentences as inconspicuously and seamlessly as possible. To great effect, I'm sure you'll notice.
And whenever there's a particularly banterous bit in a book, no matter how cheesy, I'll have little chuckle to myself. I just love that overall squad feeling and camaraderie between characters, if it's done well and developed properly. Six of Crows, for example. I've gushed on about it quite a lot, I feel, but that's because one of the many aspects I loved about it was the way the six main characters interacted. We cannot speak of banter, of course, without mentioning the Archbishop of Banterbury of himself- Derek Landy.
One of the many reasons why I love the Skulduggery Pleasant series, is the amazingly funny dialogue between the characters, and the reason I love it so much, is that it is, first of all, hilarious, but also, it's natural. It's not forced at all. No one is making a not-actually-very-funny comment, only to have the supporting characters guffaw with laughter as if Banta Clause himself sailed past in his sleigh.
Do you know a series that does the whole banter thing really badly? Throne of Glass. There's a lot of it in Empire of Storms, when most of Aelin's squad is together, and Aelin or Lysandra or someone will say something vaguely witty and not remotely amusing, and Rowan or some other equally stupid prick will "roar with laughter" or have "amusement sparkle in their eyes". And the thing is, I can tell that Maas wants us to look at them as some really dynamic, hilarious troop with great camaraderie who all make witty, articulate comments, only for someone else to come back with an equally as hilarious, sharp retort, and everyone ROFLs as sophisticatedly as possible. I'm probably not making much sense here, but whatever. It just makes me cringe, because it's so forced and unnatural, and every time I come across it, I pity those poor people who just aren't as good as bantering as the rest of us, and just
3) "Flying-off- into- the- sunset" endings
That's me when I get to those kind of endings.
No matter how good the rest of the book was, I will hate the book (tell me it's irrational- I wouldn't even give the tiniest mouse shit) just for the rubbish ending. It feels like a cop out, you know? It feels like the writer couldn't be bothered to tie it up will enough to give a satisfying ending for the readers. And maybe the author did it purposefully, maybe they left the ending open so that the readers can make their own ending, so it's open to interpretation, so they can finish it the way they want, to symbolise all the possibilities of the unknown future...
It's like when you were in Year 2 and you had to write a short story, and you were having so much fun squeezing in wow words and making your heroine's secret power as control over everyone's bogies, and having cows that flew and produced chocolate milk and all that crap, that when the teacher said there was only five minutes to end of the lesson, you were like "OH SHIT!" and decided to end it with "And little Samantha woke up and it was all just a dream."
Feels like a personal betrayal, you know what I mean. Like, you stuck with this book for so long, and it was so good, and you were so hyped for a wicked ending, and then the ending was crap.
It happened in Blood of Olympus, when Leo and Calypso literally, actually, legit went floating off into the sunset, and it completely ruined it for me. I was just like
Maybe that wasn't the best example, because, ya know, there's gonna be the whole Trials of Apollo series after it and the whole Heroes of Olympus squad will be in it... Okay, better example. The Dustlands Trilogy by Moira Young- an amazing series, right? But that ending though...
SABA AND JACK GO SAILING OFF DOWN THE RIVER INTO THE FUCKING SUNSET WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TAKING THE ACTUAL PISS??!!
And the thing is, with all the stuff that happens in Raging Star, and all the millions of goddamn main characters that die, the ending was all the more sloppy. and so many of them died so close to the ending and it didn't even show how Saba dealt with it and half of my favourite characters died and I needed the closure and urgh
4) Rubbish character names
When a bloody character called America is introduced in the first page, it's just
Does that make me a shallow person? Probably.
But I just will not be able to take the character seriously. The author cannot sell to me that the girl who the world has been waiting for, the girl who will lead her people out of the tyrannical rule which under so long they have laboured, the girl who revolutionise the galaxy, is called... Kricket.
I didn't actually read those books, for the reason above.
And is it Graceling where one of the characters is called Po?
I hear the name Po, I don't think:
... I think:
So, that's it, I suppose. Can't really think of others at the minute, though I'm sure they're there. What does my one man viewership think? Does it agree, does it disagree, does it have any others? If it does, I implore it to drop a line or two in the comments section. Please
Exactly!! So relatable hahah :)
ReplyDelete